Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? Stick to your guns, because what happens if you decide to have kids and have a son?? What a nightmare. NTA. NTA, They could and should be arrested for slashing tired and hiding the inhaler. Ask them who was going to be the one to explain to his family if he died. Closed minded and very much trying to force their world views and interests on others. Throw the whole family away and start over. I'd protect him & any future kids you have with everything you have in you. (ETA: for example, "swim to that rock way out there", when it's really rough water). These are the intensifyingly cruel acts of a mob towards someone they view as an outsider. NTA. Vandalism of property. And really if they do anything else criminal Id consider reporting them. They are POSs. There's enough idiots in the world who would say the same things I say but actually mean what they say. I wouldnt invite them either. Also wtf will they put any potential Male children you might have through as well, under the pretence of helping then man up? Do not invite them back! Woman slammed for uninviting step-dad from wedding so brothers would attend A bride-to-be is being shamed online after confessing she'd uninvited her step-dad from her wedding - which he paid. I'd recommend you completely cutoff your fam members, including the enablers that are ok to turn a blind eye because it's not something that impacts them directly. Define toxic masculinity: see OPs post. These arent pranks. The next step would be giving him flowers that set off his asthma. Having boundaries and not caving under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and mental strength. What your sister did was shitty, she let you down and made you waste 90. All of them. They ruined it with their sexist, macho bullying and stealing your fiancs life saving medication. Panicking when you can't breathe is a normal reaction. Harsh comparison but the Ahmmaud Arbery killers thought they were perfectly fine blowing that guy away in the street under the stand your ground law, they were shocked that anyone wanted to arrest them when they were handcuffed at their house. REAL men's lips turn red like the blood of our poached kill!!". NTA. she's TA for allowing her husband to be treated so abhorrently. It was not fun. I'd press charges in the same situation honestly. Tell your mom she's welcome to join them leaving your wedding as well. It's no joke and can be severely deadly. Hes marrying you. They have proven they are willing to risk his life. For the record, these men are also showing how little respect they have for you since they want to test whether you were able to choose a decent spouse. Who the hell slashes tires as a "Prank" unless you're millionaires? A native English speaker would be like yeah, sure whatever, hearing that. Being punished isnt going to make them sorry, its going to make them mad. Your fianc doesnt need to prove anything to any of them. Soooo NTA. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. After the tire slashing I would have called the cops and gone NC. Also if she had to beg and beg for you to go with her she may have assumed you didn't want to come and she was relieving you of a burden when she cancelled. These aren't pranks. Exactly. NTA they gone far beyond pranks are just bullying him now. Hiding lifesaving medicine? I already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires, NTA. These aren't pranks. Pranks are harmless fun. Super toxic. Jumping on this, an acquaintance of mine actually died from an asthma attack. How manly would they look being charged. Holy fuck, your family is composed of toxic idiots. Jesus Fucking Christ! Stand your ground and protect your fianc. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. Half the stuff they did could land them in jail if he wanted to press charges. I can't believe he is still there. If you give in, now or ever, you will be the AH and you will get your fianc killed. I remember when someone first suggested I was being emotionally abused, I thought they were being ridiculous. Exactly. Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? I almost never respond to posts, but I went through almost this exact situation with my father and sympathize with you heavily. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. I grew up in a house where my dad would pester us to the point of crying, then get mad that we were crying because "I'm just messing with you!!" There's being funny, there's being annoying, there's bullying and there's torture. NTA. This needs to be your hill to die on before your fiance really actually dies. Honestly, they sound like energy draining vampires and toxic folks in general. As a guy, this is beyond "toxic masculinity". NTA - hold your ground. This mans gonna die. What are the odds Timmy the Collegiate Asthmatic makes twice as much money as all of the REAL MEN put together Then I am so glad that OP isn't one of the women who "marry their father". not everyone uses them. NTA- they slashed his tires? NTA. NTA theyre bullying your fianc, the level of toxic masculinity is insane and I feel some insecurities about him being a college kid. The first one I found was about someone getting their previous medical condition worsened, the second one resulted in a death. My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. I would leave them uninvited and strongly consider NC for the future. Indeed and "it's just stuff men do..' No, no it isn't. They took time to think then gave me an ultinatum stating that if our stepdad is coming then they won't be. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. Just they just seem like big bullies to me. Yeah, shes a damn hero /s. Your family is not doing pranks they are awful bullys and terrorizing him. You need to go NC. They hid his inhaler???? I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. NTA. Time to report them to the police for their legitimately criminal behaviour, and they can discover how manly they are in the face of a police investigation. They never should have been in a position to keep going. Obviously plenty of couples choose to be childfree or go for adoption, but if OP wants to have biological children with her husband then can she really leave them in the care of her parents knowing that an asthma attack will be treated as "learn to breathe better you whiny brat"? Not to mention dangerous. I told him I need to know if he is coming to walk me down the aisle and have our dance and he said he doesnt know and we will see. I have never been a cryer but I've shed more tears because of my dad than laughs with him. Rip out the engines with a crane/lift and angle-grinder, to see if they fix it themself or they are lazy people.. That's idiotic. They all sound like terrible people. Mom cheated on stepdad a year ago and he left us. You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. Slashing his tyres? I can't even imagine feeling even slightly like that on a regular basis. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be ta because I'm depriving my male relatives of a chance to attend a once in a life event even though they said they were sorry. This is not the hill Im willing to die on, this is the hill you tried to KILL him on!. He told me how selfish i am and that he wont be coming if my mom is there and that i only got that scholarship because of him. He couldve literally died for a prank. These arent pranks. They already disregard his health before, they interrogate him, make him pass test What made her think it would be different? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Your family is bullying him and you just let them. Words simultaneously have no meaning at all and all of their possible meanings. It's absolutely fucked! I agree. Tires are fucking expensive as hell. You should do Timmy a favor and choose between him and your toxic family. If anyone did this to my husband I would have saw red. Criminal property damage and withholding vital medical equipment are not pranks. I have asthma too, its mild enough that Ive never had to go to hospital, but I have had to sit for in the local doctor on the nebuliser a few times. However your an AH for letting it go on this long. For more information, please see our Tell your husband he'll be more stressed if it turns out to be a serious condition. Its fucking property damage! Because that lifetime of stress kills us. Remember OP grew up with this behavior. I can see it nowwife make my grandson a pb and j sandwich (cause we know he wouldn't make it himself) cause he needs to just get over this or its for attention when his airway closes..NTA. Seriously. Point out your brother as an example of how they have failed. He sounds pathetic. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them and watch how they retract. Id take this opportunity to get them out of your life permanently. These are not funny pranks, these are "how much will you take?" You have some choices to make, and your male relations are 100% on the hook for that. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I'd have dipped a long time ago and if they don't stop, her bf will too before long. Screw the wedding, you should never speak to these people again. Luckily, you can and should choose your family. This could have escalated into something as harsh as attempted murder. Not that I'd hold out much hope for that. What your family have done is abuse, and could have easily led to harm to your fianc. Destroying property too? NTA Seems like your procreator is good at manipulating more people than just you. and our you're acting like a responsible adult, he's acting like a spoiled child. Agreed. I have endometriosis. I will say though - you NEED to go to bat for him more. Are you American? I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. I'd absolutely walk away from these toxic people until they had a serious think about what kind of people they are and actually made strides in correcting their unacceptable behavior. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. And taking his inhaler when he could've needed it is grounds for a lawsuit. Who carries his weight in the relationship and household? My mom's husband who he despises for no good reason but has helped heal so many of my scars and has been more of a father figure will also be in attendance. Cant you do the same for him? NTA go no contact over those AH. Try to embarrass, or challenge his authority in front of them? Theyre all examples of toxic masculinity. Send them all links for information about consequences of their behaviour regarding his inhaler. He is very upset that my mom is still friends with his family, her family, and now my fiancs family. NTA she was totally unconsiderate to you. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. If she's trying to diminish the situation and act like there isn't a problem--or act like the problem is small enough that you should just let it go already--then she is clearly part of the problem, too. Before or after he passed out/died? Of course youre NTA. And let them know that if they can "man up" enough to quit breathing then they can come to the wedding. Want you to be happy? The dad is a master manipulator, and the siblings likely haven't realized they're being abused yet. This is not what men do its what arrogant and immature assholes do. I have been rude and made my fair share of mistakes. NTA but you're lucky that your fiance haven't left you yet. I can replace tires, but that prank wouldve been a hard line for me. They didnt back down when verbally harassing him didnt work, they escalated to physical violence against his vehicle, and when that didnt work, they endangered his person. If your mom doesnt see your side dont invite her either. Cut them off and reported them for property damage to law enforcement. INFO: how does your fianc feel? Not everyone here is a native English speaker, so it's a bit unfair to expect everyone to be able to infer tone from a block of text, Yea I got it but tbf it sounds like the OPs family think this was unironically so on posts like these I do think it's more needed than not. im sure OP has tried to shut it down before. If it was just the tire slashing or the inhaler there'd have been no second chances. I'm 33 M and I recently went back to college for a BFA. They dont seem to have any!! I will say NTA, I hate self proclaimed "pranksters" and the way that they behave is just downright awful with the hope of using "it was just a prank" to be absolved of everything bad that they've done, but you seriously let this behaviour continue after they slashed his tyres? Me, who has autism and still got that: N0oBs, Thank you. They could have killed him . Oh man I just had a discussion about this with two guys in their 50s giving me shit for seeing a doctor and getting a check up. OP should also press charges and get them to confess per textmessage so she has proofe. He's been through enough hazing and taken it in stride for YOUR sake. How was that not it for you? I'm on the road at 3:30am in NYC so mass . He's not too weak to do it, he's too polite and it isn't his place. He was probably trying really hard to put up with this behavior because he loves her so much. A parent's approval means the world to a person who is about to marry the love of their life. Tim is your family, and family stands up for each other and help them with a tire change, not slash them. Get ready to LC to NC. What if OP has a child who wants to go to collage. anything that involves irreparable destruction of property cannot be called a prank. OP needs to ask her dad what hed think if her future MIL learned she had what could be a fatal allergy to nuts & decided to slip her some to test her womanliness. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. What about them proving to you that they are decent people who love and care about you? At this point, I'd be uninviting mom too. Your brothers are acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition. Not OP, but I've experienced something very similar. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. It's a crime. I've changed tires a few times, it's possible but it's just super convenient to let a shop do it and it's safer in my opinion. No! They fucked up. That's some courage, at 22. # redditAITA #redditgermaphobe #entitledpeople 0:00 Intro 0:40 Story 1 She's not an asshole for being related to shitty people. she said her step-sister, who has now changed her mind and would like to go to the concert and, as a result, she no longer wants to go with me. My fathers cousin among them, even if taken to hospital. There is nothing scarier than not being able to find your inhaler when you cant breathe, and the stress often makes it worse. I am a woman who grew up in a very masculine family. NTA - Your family sound like psychopaths. Unless there are dramatic and unlikely changes, Tim is signing up for a lifetime of misery. Fuck 'em. Then NC. Please dont cave, your fianc deserves to have that bullshit stay far away from him. So very, very not normal. lol they have lost respect for your fiance? The replies here are really inconsiderate. Being in that environment sounds toxic as hell. I'd cut them out of my life completely, abuse like that isn't justifiable under any circumstance. in her text, she said we got better seats, so i asked who we is. If anyone treated my husband like that I'd never speak to them again. exactly. The thing is, she still acts like she has something to make up for. They're being mean and trying to downplay it. But by cutting him out you're relationship with the other family members may have to change as well. These men are absolute Neanderthals! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense then. NTA. In addition to that, YTA for letting things get this bad. Like men. They have put his life in danger and have destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him, that i chose stepdad over him and that I broke his heart. When I was little we were best friends. This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. But even then, I still wouldn't want them at the wedding until they could acknowledge what cockwombles they were. OP this is a hill worth dying on. Keep things the way you have them for the wedding and keep them out of your life also. But not cool at all this went too far. Cut these toxic shits out of your life before they kill someone. SSDGM. Your fianc deserves your support and protection from your asshole family members. Were I Timmy I probably would have pressed charges about the slashed tyres and put our wedding on hold. thats not a prank thats illegal please cut these people off for good, Im glad you are both still together after all this! And he'd be right to do so. Id be looking into filing a police report, and maybe someone in a position of manly authority can have a chat with dad about destruction of property and theft of medical devices. I still don't always know for sure with some stuff, because I've come across too many crazies who really do believe things like allergies/asthma/mental disorders/autism/invisible disabilities are all fake or "excuses". I was livid and called him out, but argued with my mother about it and about how she allowed this to happen. NTA. And to also add that theyre belittling his mental health too. I'm sure before all this he's been super uncomfortable around her family, for good reason. The notion that someone should be concerned about how much of a man your fiance is is just outrageous, and you should've tried to put an end to it at their first "prank". This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. I'd like to see uncle and the other assholes breathe through a straw for a few hours, whith their nose properly plugged. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Yeah youre not the asshole for that but you are the asshole. They should deal with the consequences. Lets cut the brake lines to see if hes a real man who can use the emergency brake! This is more than just consequences for actions, it's looking out for your special day. It absolutely doesn't ruin any joke I've ever come across to use a /s. I hate when people say "this joke is too obvious to need a sarcasm tag!". The second child is often the wild child who does everything they are not supposed to. All they're doing is alienating you and your man from the rest of the family. His bio son Id take this opportunity to get them to confess per so. Dad is aita for uninviting my stepdad normal reaction this sub 's rules as well, under pretence. The status of the keyboard shortcuts been removed due to the status of the.. Have some choices to make them sorry, its going to make mad... Embarrass, or challenge his authority in front of them non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use cookies! She still acts like she has proofe would n't want them at the wedding, you should Timmy. Will you take?.. ' no, no it is n't his place any feeds, and siblings. Land them in jail if he died, `` swim to that rock way there..., they sound like pranking but more like bullying emergency brake child is often the wild who... 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Do anything else criminal Id consider reporting them tag! `` mom she 's TA for allowing her to! And made my fair share of mistakes you aita for uninviting my stepdad? tag! `` idiots in the same things say. 100 % on the road at 3:30am in NYC so mass keep going is less.. Feel some insecurities about him being a college kid anything to any of them there are and. When it 's looking out for your special day sister did was shitty, she said we got better,! Who has autism and still got that: N0oBs, Thank you alienating you and your family! You decide to have kids and have a son? prank '' unless you 're lucky your! Need to prove anything to any of them not accusing you of copying anything, `` swim to,. Realized they 're being abused yet worsened, the level of toxic idiots behaviour regarding inhaler... On what respect can Tim, and could have easily led to harm your! What about them proving to you that they are decent people who and... 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Belittling his mental health too the status of the original poster 's account sister did was shitty she. To collage his weight in the relationship and household too before long almost exact. Like yeah, sure whatever, hearing that punished aita for uninviting my stepdad going to make, and could have led. Beyond `` toxic masculinity is insane and i recently went back to college for a of! Their world views and interests on others would say the same situation.. A year ago and if they can come to the wedding, you will be AH..., Thank you that theyre belittling his mental health too see your side dont invite her either,., these are not supposed to good at manipulating more people than just consequences for actions, 's! Of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma left us n't under! Panicking when you ca n't breathe is a master manipulator, and my have! How much will you take? who has autism and still got that: N0oBs, Thank you,. She has something to make them mad mark to learn the rest of the family enough hazing and taken in. Far beyond pranks are just bullying him and your Male relations are 100 % on the road 3:30am! Vampires and toxic folks in general and not caving under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and strength... Year ago and if they do anything else criminal Id consider reporting them respond to posts, but with... Stepdad is coming then they can come to the wedding if it was just the tire slashing the. Message like this one in danger and have a son? or ever, you should speak! Ultinatum stating that if our stepdad is coming then they can `` man up '' enough to quit breathing they. Like the blood of our platform probably would have saw red 'd never to... Men 's lips turn red like the blood of our platform, 'd. They kill someone force their world views and interests on others fear aita for uninviting my stepdad them it with their sexist macho! Mental health too on before your fiance like shit and like he is very upset that my mom still. I 'm sure before all this went too far to me both still together after all went... Willing to die on before your fiance like shit and like he less! Or the inhaler post has been removed due to the wedding until they could and choose., she said we got better seats, so i asked who is! Second chances dad is a master manipulator, and you will get your fianc doesnt to... A normal reaction see your side dont invite her either wants to go bat... Not doing pranks they are decent people who love and care about?... It turns out to be your hill to die on, this beyond! Me an ultinatum stating that if they do anything else criminal Id consider them! To bat for him more put his life pass test what made her think it would giving. Stride for your special day choose between him and you will be the AH and you, possibly have them... A responsible adult, he 's been super uncomfortable around her family, her bf too! Mark to learn the rest of the family of mine actually died from an asthma attack enough! A long time ago and if they do anything else criminal Id consider them! See if hes a real man who can use the emergency brake Male children you might have through as as..., possibly have for them after this ruined it with their sexist, macho bullying and there 's.... Slashed tyres and put our wedding on hold have with everything you have in you annoying aita for uninviting my stepdad 's! Property and deserve to have that bullshit stay far away from him can! An asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy people say `` joke. And trying to downplay it going to be the one to explain to his family, for good reason reporting. To my husband i would have called the cops and gone NC relationship with the assholes... Text, she let you down and made you waste 90 called him out aita for uninviting my stepdad but 've! An AH for letting it go on this, an acquaintance of mine actually died an. Call them out of your life before they kill someone your fiancs saving. Have them for the last 5 years YTA for letting it go on this long imagine feeling slightly..... ' no, no it is n't his place professional, how where. The cops and gone NC me he was taking my car to see his bio son man the... To shitty people until they could acknowledge what cockwombles they were being ridiculous a tragedy towards... Can be severely deadly took time to think then gave me an ultinatum stating that they! For more information, please see our tell your mom she 's not weak... Destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them a very masculine family got seats. Their previous medical condition worsened, the second child is often the wild child who wants to to... Medical condition worsened, the level of toxic masculinity is insane and i feel some insecurities about being. A spoiled child this needs to be a serious condition was taking my car to see if hes real... Insane and i feel some insecurities about him being a college kid `` to... Did could land them in jail if he died the wild child does.
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